On the busses

When I get the bus back to Glebe from the centre of town, there is barely anyone else aboard. The bus stops all the way along George Street gradually filling with people, but not before the thought has crossed my mind that it would have probably been quicker to walk the distance.
A guy gets on the bus opposite the Victoria Shopping Arcade. He’s all smiles and chats to the bus driver as though he knows him. Striding down the bus to take a seat he beams at us all and declares:
“All women are beautiful! All men are handsome!”
Everyone looks at their feet, quietly relieved when he continues past them and does not choose to extend his conversation further with them.
“Oh,” says a voice from the back of the bus, “Hello Sam.”
The voice sounds a little long-suffering, as though he has been in this situation before.
“Oh!” Sam seems even happier than before, “How lovely!”
There’s a tiny pause before he adds:
“How do I know you again?”
“I’m Liam.”
“Liam!” Sam cries, clearly none-the-wiser, “Of course!”
At the next stop, the woman sat behind me, small and slightly plump, starts making strangely excitable noises and hesitantly taps on the window. I hear a stifled giggle.
Four other people get on at this stop. Four rather familiar, small people. They run to the back of the bus.
“Where the fck is Nic?” One yells.
Nic joins them, bounding down the aisle.
When the bus moves off again, the attitude of the woman behind me shifts alarmingly and she seems to be not giggling anymore, but descending into a nervous wreck.
The conversation on the bus is approximately as follows:
“You’re in good hands folks! This is an excellent driver!”
“Fckn hell, what’s taking so long?”
“I hope he didn’t see me, I hope he didn’t see me.”
“Women are beautiful! Men are handsome!”
“I think we should walk, this is fckn stupid.”
“What if he saw me? What if he saw me?”
“Isn’t this a lovely bunch of people? Aren’t we all so lucky to have this time together?”
“Scrw this, I’m getting off. GWOARRRR!!!*”
“I wish he had seen me, I wish he had seen me.”
Thanks to the kids ringing the bell, the bus grinds to a halt outside the Central Station bus stop. They stream off, running through the oblivious crowd like crazies.
“One moment, Liam.” says Sam, he runs to the doors and leans out.
“Jesus loves you all!” he yells to the bemused commuters, “All women are beautiful! All men are handsome!”
He ducks back into the bus again and we start moving. On his way back to the back of the bus, he hesitates by the woman behind me.
“Oh boy.” He says, “You are beautiful.”
The bus is silent until the next stop, at which the woman behind me gets off hastily.

* very approximate