But I'm the only gay in the village!

There I was sitting at my desk in the office, when all of a sudden I fell a tap tap tap on my shoulder, looking round there stands a portly gentleman with a knome beard.

"Hi Bill, what can I do you for?"

"There's something I want to bring to your attention!"

Well, I thought, here we go probably going to be yet another example of New Zealand nit picking, what had I done this time, left an extra paper clip on a bit of paper, perhaps accidently put a piece of recycling paper in the normal bin? Whatever it was going to be, I prepared myself mentally for a verbal ticking off.

"could you come over here"

he leads me to the desk next to his where a young women sits.

"have you met Emma"

A big wave of relief surges through my body, and I immediately switch off to the situation.

"Hello" I offer

she replies "Hello"

Bill interjects "do you recognise the accent"

I assume this is just a local getting excited about foreigners with similiar accents, I offer "well, it's not english"

Emma quickly adds "I'm from Shetland"

"Wow", I say, "what are the chances of that"

I don't recognise her, and take it as just another example of my disconnection with the islands. I feel a little awkward, but also feel it my duty to ask a few questions

"what's your surname?"

"Simpson"

"and what's yours?"

"Thompson"

"You know Gary, I think I recognise you, you were in the class above me at school"

"Are you sure? I didn't have a beard then!"

"Yeah, I'm sure"

"so what are you doing in Auckland"............................................

I'll spare you the rest of the 10min conversation, but it turns out I do know Emma, her sister was in my brothers class at school. Her story is similiar to mine, left home to go to uni, travelled Australia and now in NZ. Goes to show, doesn't matter how far you go, they always track you down.